At times I feel a teardrop or two well up from inside
for literally no reason at all. I don’t even feel sad,
angry or upset. I don’t feel bad at all, yet my tear ducts
get wet. My emotions are as calm as a still lake during a clear
weather sunrise during Autumn, but at random a tandem of
salt water tear drops drop and tear through my otherwise dry cheeks.
It’s not when I yawn, although I tear up then too, and I have better
things to write about then trying to lie or vouch that I never cry out of
emotional distress, like the ‘manly man that I am blah blah blah’,
That happens to me too, although it’s not what I’m referring to.
I reply to an email at work and feel that stuffy feeling like I have one tear
from my left eye surging through, emerging; I catch it before it hatches
all without the tear-appropriate emotions.
Maybe I’m in a conversation about how to get to the nearest train station or
something similarly generic and I swear it, I feel a tear or two irrigate into the
outside world, surfing over my pores until I end the unexpected clear streak with a
baby-soft swipe around my eye(s) with Bruce Lee quality quickness to cover it up.
I have theories, from simple to downright trippiculous:
One of these is that somewhere in a parallel universe,
my other self is experiencing some kind of sadness,
and through some cosmic mystery I feel my pain from another plane.
I also have thought that past lives stay with souls as time goes.
Maybe unbeknownst to me I’ll see a stranger from my old family tree,
or maybe I’m in some kind of place that subconsciously reminds me
of my previous realm of existence, and all but a couple of
emotional
liquid
droplets
fall
one
by
one;
the rest is hidden within the past,
my inner being’s sealed memories of a previous life,
trying to claw through to the present.
I could just be more tired than i thought, and I know I’m not the only one,
so imagine what kind of deeper meaning and spiritual cleaning these random tears
can have, teeming with multiversal emotional information,
or the life you lived before you lived this life,
telling you “There goes your cousin!” or “Look! he was your wife!”
Or maybe it was just a yawn. -RSM
Rubén Sebastián Muñiz | ∞ 